DENIAL: UNBRAINWASH YOURSELF
“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.” Carl Jung
The reason I’m posting this here is that I see denial so often in startup-land, and I’m hoping this post will help us all a bit to be more real.
It’s extremely powerful, denial. That’s why it’s called denial.
Delusion, passive-aggressive, delayed truth, procrastination. We all lie to ourselves to some extent, usually as a coping mechanism to avoid truths we don’t want to face or think about, or as a way to reshape our reality. Self delusion. Lying to ourself to feel better. Dangerous.
In some ways denial works, but if you let it get out of control it becomes a more permanent reality to you. You actually “brainwash” yourself, at least at the. More surface levels. The truth is in there somewhere, way deep down, but you’ve hidden it so well that you can’t consciously find it anymore, until something happens to jar you out of your lethargy.
It comes out at times in dreams or flashes of the truth.
For most people who rely heavily on denial, other parts of their lives are in similar shape. Like physical health, wilful neglect of personal mental health adds up over time, putting to sleep parts of your brain, making you a little bit “stupid”, slowing down your reactions, voluntarily handicapping yourself.
People have extremely good reasons for their denial; that’s why there is an entire field of science dedicated to it. Their brain isn’t ready to handle some truths of their life, possibly never will be able to unless they work very hard to overcome their
Denial and brainwashing are now more prevalent than ever. We’re in an era of major self delusion, self invention, and justifying things that we know are wrong because we need to survive. You adults are much more used to being scammed from every direction, by our politicians, the internet, businesses, family members. What used to be shockingly rare is now de regular.
There’s a comfort in self denial, a shield, an instant but strange gratification, and a great fear in the consequences of stepping out from behind it.
I had a boss who said to me once, many years ago “Just be yourself, quit trying to be what you think people want you to be.” This was shocking and appalling to me, first because he was someone I trusted and admired. Second because I totally disagreed with him.” I wrote him off at the time, telling him “You should take you own advice.”
But he was actually right, and those stinging words have resonated with me for the past 30 years, helped me to be a better person. It’s amazing how one little sentence can have such an impact.
Strive to be honest with yourself.